THE EXAM BLUES

DISCLAIMER

All characters (including the narrator) in this story are impurely fictitious. Any resemblance with the events that unfold in this story is yet again impurely coincidental.

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With only one page left to study, I was pretty happy and looking forward to some much needed relaxation. Most of the concepts were getting clear to me and surprisingly, with as less an effort as never before. But as I anxiously tried to complete the last rites, the contents of the page started to blur out. The circuits and equations disappeared and gradually everything started to brighten up. The next thing I saw was a bright streak followed by a rather blurred image of the dust clad ceiling fan. As I panned around the room, I saw my books basking in sunlight and none of them were open. A few moments of dilemma and I realized that I was merely dreaming and worse than that, with only one day to go I still had not touched three chapters of Mathematics, let aside the revision part. To add to my woes, it was already well past eight. The very thought of this got my heart pumping rigorously.

After this early jolt, I decided to quickly go through my routines and start off as soon as possible in order to make the best of the time left. So I hurled my blanket off and jumped out of the bed. But the first sight I was greeted with was that of my roommate Prakash, who seemed fresh after a bath and was deep in concentration with his Maths book open on his lap. That was like adding salt to my injury. I turned to the opposite side to check the status of my other roommate, Ravi. Well, as usual he seemed to be least perturbed by the fact that we had exams tomorrow. He was happily snoring away, absolutely cozy and cuddled up in his warm blanket. Phew! That was relieving.

It was quite a chilly morning and shivering away, I got across some rather fast and rash brush strokes to quickly conclude my tooth care. Considering the tension I was in, it was not quite difficult to get through my motions. I maintained the same speed in my breakfast as well, and soon I was all set to start my mission. No sooner than I had wrapped myself up in my blanket, I pulled out the voluminous book from the bottom of the stack and arranged a rough notebook. Finding a pen in my room was one of the most arduous tasks, amidst all the mess on the table, its constituents ranging from books, heaps of pages, earphones, chewing gum wrappers, t-shirts, Ravi’s hair band and bracelets and of course, not to mention all the dust. I got three, two of which were empty. I decided not to waste any more time and quickly opened the book, Advanced Engineering Mathematics by Jain and Iyenger. With over three hundred pages to read, divided into around ten to twelve units, I had no clue as to where to start from. I confirmed the syllabus from Prakash, who of course must have probably been half way through in his second round considering the fact that his day had begun as early as 6 a.m.

After that I finally came to a consensus and went in for a relatively easier chapter as a confidence booster. Full of energy and a fear-driven motive, the first chapter was history in a matter of minutes. Next, I decided to attack complex analysis, the unit which was the most challenging of all. I got off to a good start, but the moment those elephantine and labyrinthine equations came in to play, my concentration started to waver. I tried hard and struggled to keep my focus but just could not carry on. Sometimes I felt that I was Dyslectic and I could also hear a background music playing-‘Taare zameen par’. That was actually the music was being played by our neighbors in full blast. They had this misconception that music helped improve concentration. In the process they made our lives hell though. At last I decided to take a break and drank some water. The next step was quite a courageous one as I dared to disturb Prakash, who had not even looked out of his book all this time. On enquiring about how much he had completed, I got a rather modest answer-“Not much, to be honest only six chapters complete and I have to give a second round to the rest.” Wow! Second round! I could only dream to be in that position at this stage. Well, one would expect him to be rest assured during the examination eve, taking into account the amount of study he puts in right from day one. No wonder he was the topper of the branch.

I decided not to get myself more anxious by questioning him further. Instead I thought it was high time to wake Ravi up, who was up all night playing his favorite computer game without even touching any sort of course material. “Wake up man! It’s almost 10:30”.Why would he even bother? He gave no signs of waking up until both Prakash and I shouted vociferously. He got up, sat upright and within seconds collapsed forward on his blanket to enjoy a few more moments of a priceless snooze. Well, this procedure continued for about half-an hour before he finally went on to complete the other formalities. That took no less time though. It was now close to noon when he finally gave his books a reason for gratitude towards him. After a few moments of scanning his book,-bang! He shut it and went off somewhere. I later learnt that he had actually gone out for a haircut. God only knows how he could even think of one given the circumstances.

“Just one week ago, I probably would have been doing the same thing as Ravi”, I said to Prakash. Although I couldn’t have expected the same statement from him, I continued anyway. “But just look at us today - Toiling away like mad and not a moment of rest! In fact you cannot even enjoy a relaxed breakfast let aside a sound sleep. Why do they even have exams? Is there any use, especially in this college? First, they will draft in the weirdest of theories then they will set a question paper which I bet they themselves won’t be able to solve, and then to add a damper to this, there is cheating, incoherently strict correction, favoritism etc”. While I was shrugging off all my anger, to my surprise Prakash was quietly listening with his book closed. He gave me a rather skeptical look and reacted by simply saying-“That’s true but what can be done? Everyone has to go through exams. In fact life is a test in itself. It’s a basic rule of this world and cannot be avoided whatsoever. So just carry on the good work.”

“Good work of course”, I said to myself sarcastically. I wonder if I would be able to complete this complex crap today or for that matter even this month. Well, it was time to eat. Obviously I could not enjoy a single bite of my lunch. Not that it was worth enjoying though. Nevertheless, I was back on the desk in a matter of minutes. Welcome back complex variables! I was now determined to get over with this as soon as possible. I put in some extra focus. On my way, I frequently met up with one particular fellow. That was Mr. Cauchy or Dr. or Prof. whatsoever is his designation. Cauchy’s integral formula, Cauchy’s theorem and then the collaborations, Cauchy-Goursat theorem- Man! This guy had done some work in this field. Another such multi-faceted person is the one and only Newton Saab! You can meet him in almost any textbook concerning any course in this world. God! How I wish these blokes were never born. This world would have been a much better place to live in.

My stream of wild thoughts drifted to such an extent that I even linked all this up with terrorism. Quite clearly, the heat had started getting onto my mind now. I was brought back to my senses when all of a sudden the door was opened with a bang. “I’m back!” announced Ravi. He asked our opinions about his haircut. I counter questioned,-“Have you even cut them? They look the same to me i.e. like a girl’s”. His reply-“Hahaha! very funny! Just look carefully; I have trimmed my side locks”. I could not say anything after hearing that. Then, he promptly opened his locker. I thought he was looking for some books, but that was hoping against hope. Out came his laptop and within seconds the AK-47s, pistols and grenades were back in action. “When will you study man?” both Prakash and I asked in chorus. “Arey we have the whole day yaar and of course the night. Remember- raat baki, baat baki. So just chill dude!” And then a computerized voice came from his lappy after a loud blast-“Terrorists win!” I murmured-“I hope they lose tomorrow. The question paper that is. That was going to be no less terrorizing.

It was close to 4 p.m. now and finally I was performing the last rites for complex analysis. I felt much better now and also thought of rewarding myself. A small nap would not have been a bad idea and my intentions were reinforced when I saw Prakash taking forty winks. I was completely knocked out. Believe me, the nap that you get after a long doze of monotonous study is the best one.

When I got up, it was already starting to get dark. “Oh my god it’s 6 o’clock!” –I shouted. I had slept for two hours and was livid with myself. “How could I do this?”- I moaned. Both Prakash and Ravi asked me to cool down. We went out for our evening snacks and tea.

As soon as we were back, I just jumped on with it. The tension clearly reflected on my face and body language. My fists were clenched, I was biting my nails and my legs were shaking vigorously now. I was also taking some deep sighs. Seeing my state, my roommates enquired on whether I was okay. I was rather rude in my reply-“Do I look okay? How can I be okay with all these chapters to finish and hardly any time left? I just can’t understand my self. I get all the time in the world and yet I end up in such a state on the last day. I haven’t attempted a single problem. I am sure I will screw it up tomorrow. What will my parents think? They have been so patient and this is what I do instead. In fact this time I had started off early to avoid the last day tension. But still…” -I remorsed. Ravi was quite patronizing for a change. He tried his best to console me-“Hey c’mon man! You’re still better off than many others. Just look at me. I am yet to begin. Don’t worry about your parents yaar, I am pretty sure they have and will have complete faith on you and your abilities. And of course, there’s always a next time.” Well that was the statement on which the whole world thrives upon. One just had to have faith and be optimistic. Otherwise this world would be hell.

So I was back on track with an added spark. But then all of a sudden the door was pushed open and that too with quite an impact, followed by a voice-“Hellllo guys! Wazzup!” Oh God! It was Suresh. He was one of the world’s most irritating people. He continued-“No point asking you Prakash, but what about you? Complete? Solid preparation, eh?” I knew he would throw one at me. My blood was already boiling and at this point I felt like killing him. Well it seemed like I had to face more of him in the near future. That was because he had brought along all his stationary, with a certain intention of settling here. I am pretty sure he must have been in somebody else’s room prior to this and now it was our turn. Another thing that I was sure about was the answer I would get to the question that followed. “So what’s your state of affairs?” In reply he gave a sarcastic smile and said-“Me? I was just watching a movie. I’ll just be starting.” I smiled in my mind and said-“Ya of course! And I guess that is how you manage all those high grades. Please don’t tell me all those ridiculous tales of yours. I know everything. You have your clandestine study hours and then you pop up here to bother us.” He gave me an astonished look and then tried to explain-“What are you saying yaar. Believe me. It’s true. And as far as the grades thing is concerned, it just seems to happen automatically. I consider myself quite lucky in this case.” Well, he was lucky for sure, but that was because I didn’t have a weapon in my hands.

Suresh very comfortably settled down on my bed and resumed his study. As soon as his book opened his to and fro motion was initiated. My bed, being shaky and squeaky, resonated along. Then to add salt to injury, he started chanting the text material in an attempt to grasp the point. I refuted and so he hopped across to Prakash’s bed. After a short stint of self study, they launched a discussion. I tried to keep my concentration going but it was impossible. My mind kept getting diverted to what they were discussing. I tried being a part but they were talking in Greek, or at least that is what it seemed like. I intervened in their chat-“Er, guys! Could you possibly use a simpler dialect?” So I was amidst the action now. It’s a different thing that I had to keep asking for a second explanation each time and that was not very well received from their party. Nevertheless Suresh was pretty good at explaining things and that too in half the time. He was a bit difficult to convince though. He just would not listen to you until he was fully satisfied with his own argument. But that was probably why he did so well in exams with his last moment preparations.

Meanwhile, Ravi had finally opened his book. He was joined by one of his ‘made for each other’ partners, Dheeraj alias Chintu, who had also just shutdown his laptop. So overall, the room was in a studious atmosphere. Everyone was deep in concentration. Chintu expressed his happiness saying-“So finally we are studying, nothing can go wrong from here.” All of a sudden everything in my book went black. It was a power cut. “Oh damn it! This is the last straw. Chintu, did have to open your big mouth. Now what?”- It was getting unbearable for me now. I tried using my mobile phone’s light. But that was inadequate. So with no choice left we just lingered around with the hope that the lights would soon be back. While strolling around, Ravi slipped in a question-“Hey Priya was looking nice yesterday, no?” On hearing this, Suresh, who until now was busy dictating his concepts, responded instantly-“Oh ya! She’s the only hope in our batch.” I very reluctantly revolted-“Please don’t start this topic or my mind will get distracted.” Prakash tried to catch me on the wrong foot. He said-“Okay, so now we know that Priya is the reason for his distraction.” I desperately pleaded-“No! Don’t take me otherwise.” But who was going to listen. This subject carried on in the mess where we literally were having a candle-light dinner.

Finally at 9:30 p.m. god said-“let there be light.” It was about time too. My parents called in between. Unlike other times, our conversation lasted hardly minutes during exams as they had the same question and I had the same answer-“Ya, preparations seem okay, let’s see.” After getting their good wishes, I rushed back and got started. With hardly any time left, everyone was quiet now. I still had three chapters lined up. The hours went away like seconds. It struck midnight very soon. All at once, Ravi said-“Chintu? It’s already 12 ‘o clock?” With that he burst into laughter. Seeing him I couldn’t resist. Prakash seemed nonplussed though. His words-“Have you all gone nuts?” Well, anybody who would have entered our room at that time would have thought so. The aftermaths of the preparations were distinctly apparent. I huffed and puffed till 2 a.m. I must have resisted at least three alluring appeals to doze off, by my internal clock. With the optimism of having one more to go, I tried to keep it up but it was out of question. I decided to bypass the remaining one and crashed onto my pillow. Despite the light being on with Ravi still up, I managed to get a good sleep.

“No sir, please give me 5 more minutes. I just have two questions left. Pleeease! Don’t snatch it. Noooooooo!!!” My eyes opened. Phew! What a horrible nightmare. My heart was still pounding. After getting ready in a flash, I realized that I still had three quarters of an hour in hand. So I picked up the book again. I decided to take a glance of the omitted chapter. I couldn’t understand much but just mugged up a few formulae and scanned some examples. I applied the same procedure for the other units. But the moment I would switch to the next unit, the previous one just got erased. “I am pretty sure I am suffering from anterograde amnesia, the one in Ghajini, that is.” I announced jokingly. But nobody had the time or patience to even nod. Well, it was time to make a move now. I thought of giving a shot at the loo, but decided to abort the attempt. I settled with some antacid instead. With the current state of affairs I decided to do what I had never done before. I took my book along. I asked Prakash to guide me while I kept looking at the formulae. We reached the examination hall. I did not let go of the book until I was warned. Finally the answer sheets were distributed. I cautiously penned in my details. After an anxious five-minute wait, characterized by an adrenaline rush, the question papers were finally distributed.

That Evening

After half an hour of rest and recreation, I collected the material for the next one and started off soon. I was really tired. It turned out to be quite difficult to concentrate for this one. Disappointed at my poor performance in maths, I tried my best to carry on. I just hoped that there would not be a power cut and there was not.

The Next Day

This was even more tiring. In fact I skipped about an hour of study for internet.

& The Next Couple of Days

Just more draining, exhausting, fatiguing, wearing …

The Final Day

Tomorrow would have been the last one. Almost everyone was taking it easy. Considering that I had no energy left in me, I too wanted to. But I could not afford that. That was because I was hanging on a knife’s edge in this particular course. My prior scores were disgracefully low and I was staring down the barrel. I gave it my best shot. I did not even look at my roommates throughout that evening and believe me I was extremely nervous. That night I slept at half past three.

The Judgment Day

The invigilator threw the question paper on my desk. I took a quick glance and spotted an easy one. I went berserk. I rapidly inscribed each and every step, which was etched in my mind, trying to maintain a neat handwriting. I then found yet another soft pray. I attacked that one too. With two in my kitty, I felt a bit more composed now. I tried the rest one by one. I cracked some but some were left halfway. But this paper seemed to have no bounds. With only fifteen minutes to go, I still had two questions un-attempted and countless, partially. I got hysterical now. My hands started to tremble. I kept looking up for some help from the almighty, but the solution just would not strike despite the fact that I had seen that particular one while revising. I let the handwriting go to hell and just wrote some crap in a hope of at least gaining a mark or two. Very soon the invigilator stepped up to me.

“No sir, please give me 5 more minutes. I just have two questions left. Pleeease! Don’t snatch it. Noooooooo!!!” Only, that this time that it was not a dream. My sheet was snatched and I fell short by two questions. I breathed a heavy sigh and confirmed a couple of my answers with the ‘big shots’. Unfortunately, I had committed a very silly mistake in one question. All in all my performance was average, nothing to write home about. But my dilemma was whether I should mourn on my mistakes or celebrate the fact that the exams were over. Each feeling was encroached upon by the other. I checked with Ravi and Prakash. While the latter was busy with post-exam discussions, Ravi was virtually dancing. I can understand how tumultuous a time it would have been for him in particular. I did not ask them about their performances. Instead I decided to celebrate the moment. Well, my stomach was the first one to demand some attention. It was high time too. I had hardly eaten in the past few days. So we went out enjoyed some delicious samosas. I was completely drenched out, but yet that feeling of freedom was gratifying.

A Few Months Later

Prakash was at his peak. In fact he hit a ten-on-ten in the previous semester. Ravi’s gaming and singing were on a high. He recently came second in an inter-college gaming competition. His victory speech-“Just see my game after the summer term. I shall definitely come first next year.” Well, that is right folks. He will have to spend the summer term here and that too because he fell two marks short in a course. At least he is optimistic about it. Suresh’s honeymoon with his luck never seems to end. As usual, things struck his mind at the right time and place in the last semester exams as well. As far as I am concerned, I think I have shown some improvement both in academics and co-curriculars this semester. Though my last one was not quite up to the mark and I could do with a bit more of progress in terms of grades. Meanwhile, most of us are and will continue to thrive on one particular statement-“I’ll definitely work harder next time.”